Meditation Seminar

So I went to the workshop on meditation a couple weekends ago, I could make it to all the session so I finished it this weekend. DH did it this weekend; he was working last week. On Sunday, there was a long meditation in the morning (30 min.) and I felt really weird afterwards; kinda shaky inside, cold… cold seat and confused. Shishir, the speaker said that it is probably because it was too long for a beginner and I push myself which I should not have done. After a while, during the meditation, I was thinking that is long and I had a hard time to keep on going so I ask for help to the universe so that I could keep at it… I should not have, now I will be more attentive to my internal messages.
In the afternoon there was another meditation but Shishir recommended that I don’t do it. I read and a few hours letter I felt better. They talked about there Master Sri Chinmoy and I was sad that they would not take us as students because we are trying to have a baby. I felt a bite like they were showing me the most wonderful meal there is and then they said sorry, you cannot have any. I felt not good enough… but DH and I stick with our plans. I explained that my main goal in following this seminar was that I heard that if you meditate before conceiving the soul I would be bringing to life will really want to come in our family and that afterward that helps this soul having a better life.
They encouraged us to keep on meditating anyway and that maybe later when the kids are older, if kids there are, we could come back. Shishir even came out to talked to us as we were leaving to ask us if we would postponed our project for a 3 months so that we can make the program but no. I talked to DH on our way home to get a sense of if it was what he really wanted and I think so. I kinda consider it because I might not be pregnant in 3 months and then we would have had the time but I can’t go through it knowing that we are trying and kinda lying.